Finding your dream home can be an exciting challenge, and looking for the home you want to share with your spouse can be romantic. However, having to find a house that fits the "dream home" ideal for two people can be twice as challenging. The good news is that it can also be a lot of fun when you plan to have a drama-free experience. Follow these tips when house hunting with your spouse, and you may want to encourage them to do the same.
Tip #1: Build a Team Mentality for the House-Hunting Adventure
Keep in mind that your spouse is on your side. You both want the best house possible to share with each other. When you are searching for your perfect home, play up the fact that you are on the same team. You may even choose to playfully create a "team name" to represent your house-hunting endeavor like "Team Blue Shudders" or "Team Cutest Condo." Choose a team name that represents common ground you share in what you want in a home.
Tip #2: Agree to Ground Rules for the Home Search
Discuss how you both will handle different parts of your home search. One spouse may want to be the one that asks questions, and one may want to look at the practical factors in a home. If your spouse has a good eye for the condition of appliances or roofs, they may want to focus on observations during the home search. Knowing what you both can expect of each other can prevent arguments and help you both have a less stressful house-hunting experience.
Tip #3: Ask Open-Ended Questions When Your Spouse Loves a House You Hate
Sometimes you may not see the charm in a home that your spouse adores. Before you completely dismiss it, practice active listening and try to understand where your spouse is coming from. Ask open-ended questions to better understand why they like a house. Here are some you may try:
- What makes this house preferable to other homes you've seen recently?
- How do you envision improving the house if it's purchased?
- What are your favorite and lease favorite parts of this house?
Ask questions that fit what your spouse has said about the house, and listen before you dismiss the house with your criticisms.
Tip #4: Keep Disagreements Private and Be Generous in Them
Don't lose sight of the fact that you and your spouse should act like the power couple that you are when you're looking for homes. You don't see celebrity power couples feuding in public (okay, with rare exceptions). If you disagree about a house that your spouse is determined to take a lot of time in, don't cause a scene. Save the disagreements for private moments. Treat your spouse with grand generosity while you look for a home, which includes being kind in fights.
Finally, keep in mind that the house-hunting adventure doesn't have to be a daunting experience. Your spouse is on your side, and you can both help each other enjoy the process. Also, your real estate agent is also your ally, and you should both communicate with your real estate agent regularly as they help you find the perfect house to suit the needs of you and your spouse.